I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
