this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
