Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
