I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize