yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
