the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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