At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
