and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
