this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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