He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
