i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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