i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
