dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
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Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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