how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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