ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
