And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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