why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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