What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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