Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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