This girl is more easily done than said...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
