I want to make a zoo with you.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
