Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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