How'd it feel making her break her religion?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
All the doctor said was why
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
