Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
