You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
