that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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