dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
