Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize