what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
