Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My ass is underappreciated
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
