apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I had to cum in my sink.
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