I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
