I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize