Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
