if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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