Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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