drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
