just come out here and I will go home with you...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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