Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize