Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
