I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
