It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
