At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
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Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
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Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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