it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize