When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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