i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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