She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
