He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize