oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
