why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
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He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
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The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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