next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
