Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
