nut hugger
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
