Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize