As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I checked into jail on foursquare
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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