i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I faked an abortion last night.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
