Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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