im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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