So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
