I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize