Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
